#FIRSTEVERPASTEL

#FIRSTEVERNUDE

#PAUSE

A pause...is just as informative as the rush...closing my eyes...I see the wash of umber and reds behind my lids...the black speckled floaters that try to dominate the space...hearing my breath...breathing...I inject myself from the inside....my spirit moves me and pre-empts the pause...stops it in its tracks....I re-enter the race....play!

#JUSTWORKTHROUGHIT

Every second of every day we should give thanks for the breath we take...sounds cliche?  Yup I know...but yesterday I was thrown for a loop...and I felt as if I was being sucked down a nasty drain with no bottom....the emotional pain was physical....but today...I realize that I was given the inherent talent to work through the problems...just process..and with a cup of coffee...just work it through.

The weekend is upon us and I will just keep going...today will be challenging I know, but also knowing that when it is ended I can come home to my sanctuary where my T loves me unconditionally...that is what I give thanks for...so...get up and move on.....


#JUSTWORKTHROUGHIT

FOCUS

I WISH I HAD TOLD YOU

It has been seventeen years...today the emotions are still a little raw and conflicted...times were not always rosy or fairy tale but we still had smiles. There was much I wish I had said.....HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY PHILLY!!!! 

I WISH I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU

  I have listened to your advice.
 You insisted on telling me how it was
 for you as a girl
 and how you did this and that.

 I tell you I am tired.
 I am not listening anymore.

 I have taken your advice
 and where has it gotten me?
 Right here!
 Just where I DO NOT want to be!

From now on,
I don’t need you, I don’t want you
I am not listening to you.
But, you can no longer hear me.

You are no longer with me.
You are in another place giving advice.
Being yourself.
Why were you never your true self with ME?
Why all the pretense?
Why all the hypocrisy?
It was not necessary.

I would have still loved you.
Always, I would have.
But you kept a wedge between us.
I cannot understand why you did this
but you did.
And now,
You are gone.

Where are you when I need the strength
I saw in you when I was a child?
I cannot reach you.
I am angry!
Do you understand?
Angry!

I am your child.
You left me.
I hate that
but I know
I can never hate you.
I will always love you,

Mummy.

-------------------------

Cher Corbin  2011

I AM A WRITER!!!!

About two years ago when I started my writing journey and was feeling the euphoria of wining two silvers at NIFCA (this high went even higher when I was told it was not easy to win anything at the Literary ARts) I thought I would share my joy with others around me.

Well as you can imagine the responses ranged from smiles, to hugs, to "really? you did that!!!" to congratulations...but the response I remember most was from a person I least expected it from....

and I quote (or paraphrase).." So you sure you writing, or you just putting words together...cuz we all know you got the gift of the gab"

Ok...now some of you who are on the same page as I am would feel how I felt when I heard that (go on, read it again and see what I mean)

So, this windy Tuesday Morning....I will make a declaration....

I really don't give two (or three) hoots what you may think!!!! I am a writer...I will continue to write....I cannot force you to read it...but I will submit it for your attention...and if you dismiss me...IT IS YOUR LOSS....someone else will embrace me....

(ok I have ranted enough..had to get that off my chest)

Toodles and Hugs to all of you out there (including all you others)

:)