I may be stubborn and opinionated, some may consider me aggressive and strong headed...but those who know me would know that I speak my mind and I am honest with myself...and I make no apologies for that. I will not live a lie. — feeling free.
It never fails to amaze me that we, as women must apologize for the positions we take and get characterize as being aggressive, arrogant, bossy and some much less pleasant adjectives that I will not include here.
When relationships start, everything is always very ethereal and beautiful and lovely....we fall in love.....when maybe in some instances we fall into the idea of falling in love...the glimpses that we have of what a future can hold...irrespective of obstacles and challenges...irrespective of stubbornness and impenetrability of character of the focus of our attentions.
And then, there are those relationships that everything goes really well for years and then it seems that "all of a sudden" what you thought you had, you don't have.....your heart is no longer there...you try to reach for recovery....it is not that you think the person who has been beside you all this time is mean or anything...quite the contrary...you wonder why you they are no longer the object of your affections....you cannot put your finger on it...but you know for sure you can no longer live with it.....
Inevitably this brings hurt and much pain...and all you can do is stand firm and take the barrage of insults, threats, accusations, illogical reasoning, knowing full well that none of that is the cause or the reason for your position.....
The reason is......you are no longer in love...your heart is not in it...and you cannot live with...without the love in your heart....
You are labelled as selfish, self-centred, cold, witch, bitch, evil...at times even made synonymous with lower class persons with no abode (that was really below the belt by the way)....arrogant, aggressive, bossy...and at no time has anyone ever acknowledged the truth of your character...YOU ARE HONEST.
You must be honest with yourself...cuz that is who you have to live with everyday.....
Yes you have regrets, plenty...too many to mention....regrets that the plans made by two did not come to fruition and be that plan of one.....regrets that the dreams of the happily ever after with no limits were stopped dead in their tracks because of illogical incorrect premises.....
But what is constant throughout it all is the sense of understanding oneself, feeling comfortable with your decisions, and being honest with your spirit.
That being said.....I can apologize to others for the pain, hurt, misunderstandings, and all such like that you perceive has been inflicted on you.....
but
............I MAKE NO APOLOGIES FOR BEING ME..........
As I've said to you before, being on the receiving end of the bluntness is TOUGH... but if you are mature you get over it. Like I always say, I spit out the bones and eat the meat. A lot of people are unable to do that. I appreciate what you have written here as a glimpse into your own heart and I also strive to live unapologetically authentic! #FriendsForever
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